Winnie Nash Is Not Your Sunshine by Nicole Melleby tells the story of twelve-year-old Winnie who lives in Sea Bright, New Jersey. Although many young people might savor summertime at the beach with a grandmother, Winnie is not taking her eviction from the family home with a smile.
In fact, she is afraid that any smile she takes is one less her mother will have. Winnie’s parents have decided that for the final trimester of this pregnancy, Winnie would not be around for any potential fall-out if another miscarriage occurs. After all, Winnie has been there “for every other time her mom said she was going to be a big sister, and for all of her mom’s sad days that never seemed to end. The sad days that took her mom’s smiles and her laughter and everything that made her mom her mom” (25). Winnie considers it a fair trade if her mom gets to laugh even if Winnie doesn’t.
Only Marie, Winnie’s godmother and her mom’s best friend, seems to understand what Winnie wants. So, Marie sneaks Winnie off to lunch dates where they can attend Pride events together, giving Winnie the sense of acceptance without hiding and secret-keeping. Otherwise, Winnie’s days are filled with sitting at the senior citizen clubhouse. Contact with her mother is Facetime, and Winnie is unable to ask the questions that keep her from smiling: “Do you promise to keep smiling no matter what? Do you ever think about the days when you were so sad you forgot I was even here? Do you still love me, Mom, will you please just hold me?” (101).
This need for unconditional acceptance and the need to be held are points on which Winnie fixates. Those issues, and the secrets the family considers their business and no one else’s, are the focus of Winnie’s days. Winnie wants to tell her grandma that she “blushes around pretty girls, that she has had lots of crushes throughout the years on pretty girls, and she wants her grandma not to care about any of it. She wants her parents to tell her grandma about her mom’s long, scary, sad days, and she wants them all to talk about it” (104-105).
Although Melleby’s novel becomes occasionally monotonous in its attempt to mirror Winnie’s left-out and lonely feelings, the story may help other young readers who are left to cope with a parent’s depression or those who may seek support and acceptance for any uncertainly regarding their own gender and sexuality.
- Posted by Donna