If I Stay

Gayle Forman’s newest novel, If I Stay, made my heart ache.ifistay

Forman weaves 24 hours of linear time skillfully with the fluid memories of 17 year old Mia’s whole life as Mia’s body lies in a coma after her whole family has been tragically, suddenly killed in a car accident.  Mia’s last waking memory is listening to the car radio before everything is shattered.  At first, as she walks around the accident scene, seeing her father and mother’s bodies on the road, she is stunned. She looks for her little brother, Teddy, but instead finds herself in the ditch.  She has to ask herself, “am I dead?”  From there, Mia’s separated consciousness watches as she’s whisked away to trauma surgery and stays in the hospital for the next 24 hours while loved ones and hospital personnel come and go around her body.

Via Mia’s thoughts and flashbacks, Forman expertly explores the teenager’s life, her passion for classical music and her strong relationships with her family, friends and boyfriend, Adam.  As the day goes on, Mia struggles to decide if she should stay in a broken body, in a life without her beloved parents and brother or if she should choose to let go and dream the dreamless sleep of the dead.  Mia looks for someone to give her permission to go (and when her Gramps whispers in her ear “it’s OK,: you can’t help but cry) and slowly her spirit becomes more fatigued and hopeless as she thinks about all she’s lost.  In particular, Mia’s memories of Teddy’s birth and their close connection were so full of emotion and grief  that I found myself wanting to put the book down, even though I was compelled to keep reading. 

Robust, fierce, insightful, humorous and ultimately life-affirming this is a book I will remember for a long time.

  • Posted by Cori

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